Why do people always assume that stay at home moms do nothing all day. My husband tells me I just sit on the couch all day and do nothing. Would you say a daycare worker or preschool teacher does nothing? Yes I have one child not 10 but that doesn’t mean I don’t work. It doesn’t mean I just sit on the couch. So yesterday I actually wrote down my day!!
I woke up to my son having peed my bed and I was covered in urine. Not how anyone wants their day to start. I quickly turned the shower on. Stripped the bed. Took all the sheets and pillows to the laundry room while yelling at monkey man to get his wet clothes and diaper off. I took my clothes off in the laundry room and quickly ran to the shower. I washed off, climbed out and put monkey man in. I washed his hair and left him to play in the shower while I got dressed.
I went back to the laundry room took the dry clothes out of the dryer, put the wet clothes from the washer into the dryer and started the dryer. I put the urine covered clothes, sheets, and pillows in the washer and started it. Went back and got monkey man out of the shower, dried him off, dried batman off, and looked for some clean clothes for him. I got him dressed, and brushed his teeth. I brushed my teeth and wiped off my face with a face wipe. Sprayed my face with moisturizer and threw up my hair. Brushed monkey man’s hair and realized how badly he needs a haircut.
We then went to the kitchen and I gave him his meds. Then I made him a peanut butter sandwich and got him seated. I then took the sandwich back to the kitchen because “Mommy, batman likes it in squares, I want squares!” I took the sandwich back to him and got him some orange juice. I then cleaned up the trash in the kitchen and took my meds.
“Mommy come see what Captain America did!” Oh dear that sounds like a mess. Go into the dining area to see a hole in the sandwich and peanut butter footprints all over. Quickly clean that up and then take the dogs down the 3 flights of stairs to go potty. Spend 15 min walking them and come back up stairs. Take the puppy Frankie to the bathroom and feed him.
I get monkey man some milk and clean up more trash because no one in my family knows how to use a trash can. Ask monkey man to pick up his dirty clothes around the house and put them in the laundry room. “That’s going to make my tummy hurt for ages!” ” No it is not, go clean up please.” “Captain America or batman can do it…fine fine I’ll do it…. I want some help!” and he precedes to go back to playing with his action figures. “Go do it right now!” ” ow ow ow my knee hurts! That’s why I can never do it.” “Your knee is fine go please.” “My knee is going to hurt for lots of weeks.” “Go do it now!” He groans as he does it. “Mommy what day is it?” “Thursday” ” what Thursday means?” “Cleaning day” ” We going to clean all weekend long?” “No, just today.” ” That is going to take ages!” He then goes back to playing.
“Monkey man you left dirty clothes in your bathroom.”
“My head hurts! That’s why I need peace and quiet today. You just clean the house for me and no more talking I need it quiet.”
“Well then after you clean up your clothes you can go lay down and go to sleep. “” Ok.” He then goes and gets them the whole time he is crying “My head hurts I need quiet…. Mommy is bossy…” He puts the clothes in the laundry room and goes back to playing. “No your head hurts you need to go lay down. Give me Captain America and Batman.” “Mom if you kiss my head it will feel better.” I kiss it. “Better?” “Yes!” “Ok good, you can go clean your room.” Screaming and crying “I want mommy!” “Go do it!” Screaming and crying and clinging onto me for the next 15 minutes as I try to pry him off.
“Go do it then you can play or I can spank you.” He goes to his room and continues screaming “I want mommy… I don’t want to clean my room… Cleaning is boring… Mommy is mean… I want mommy.” I walk in to see he hasn’t done anything. We argue, yell, cry, and fight for over an hour till I give up.
I take clean dishes out of dishwasher and put them away. Fill dishwasher with dirty dishes and start it. I then go get monkey man who is still crying out of his room, make him blow his nose, and rock him while singing his special song. He calms down after 20 minutes.
“What animals come out at night mommy?” “Can you name some?” “Owls?” “Yes.” “Bats?” “Yes.” “Caterpillars?” “I don’t know.” He goes back to playing having lost interest. I go check on the puppy, change the pee pad and clean up the poop. I pick up the dog toys and put them back in the basket and clean up all the blankets by folding them and putting them back in their basket. I put a clean set of sheets on the bed and put the comforter on. “Mommy can you buckle captain America to his motorcycle?” I strap captain America down with a rubber band. I turn on nick jr and try to sneak into the bathroom but it is as if he has a magical power that tells him “Mom is in the bathroom I must barge in!” I get him settled back down watching his shows and empty the dyer. I take half the laundry out of the washer just to realize it is all still soaking wet. I respin the clothes.
I realize it is monkey man’s lunch time and make him another sandwich remembering to cut it in squares this time. Peel a banana and get him more orange juice. Where has my morning gone? I make a cup of coffee. The dog is whining to go out again so I take her down the 3 flights of stairs for another 15 min walk. Monkey man decides he needs some loving and pushes me down and climbs in my lap. “What is your favorite superhero mommy?” “Superman.” “My favorite is Batman!” He then lists all the reasons. I tell him to eat his food and go to empty the Washer. I take the pillows out and respin everything else again. I get more orange juice for monkey man and poor my coffee over ice. Switch over the laundry and start a new load. I put the clean laundry on the bed and hear “Baby, why did you eat all my food?” I run out in time to see the dog finish off the sandwich. I make another and then go fold the clothes, hang them up and put them away.
I drink some of the coffee then dump the other load of clean clothes on the bed. I start folding only to hear monkey man scream “Mommy!” I run out and find him stuck behind the couch crying. I get him out, calm him down and lay him on the couch to watching mike the knight and turn around to find the puppy chewing on my underwear. I finally catch him and get them away and lock him back in the bathroom. I finish folding, hanging up, and putting away the laundry and scoop up all the clothes on the floor. Not sure what is clean or dirty I throw it all into the laundry basket.
I am now feeling dizzy and realize all I have had today is a few sips of coffee. I sit down and monkey man jumps on my lap with a book. I read him his story and check that the dishwasher and dryer are still going. I ask Monkey man to put the puppy back in the bathroom to eat and start to look in the fridge when I hear screaming. I run to the bathroom only to find that monkey man stepped on one of his Legos. I give the puppy his food and carry monkey man back to the couch. I go back to the fridge to find it near empty. I get out the tortillas, cheese, and quesadilla maker and put them all on the counter. As that is heating up I get the fish fed and realize the water needs to be changed. I get monkey man more juice and make the quesadillas. When I come back to the table I see there is juice spilled all over so I clean that up, get more juice, and put away the tortillas and cheese. 1/3 of the way through eating monkey man decides he wants some and ends up taking over half. I finish eating, pick up our dishes and wipe down the quesadilla maker before putting it away.
Big surprise the dogs need to go down to the bathroom again. I come back clean up the puppies poop and change the pee pad again. I ask monkey man where my iPad is and he returns with it saying it was under his bed. I try to turn it on and realize it is dead and plug it in. Then my phone rings. It’s my doctor and we go over medications again. When I get off the phone I go find monkey man covered in marker. I switch the laundry again, empty and reload the dishwasher, fold and put away all the clothes.
I sit down with monkey man and color and work on his numbers and letters for a half an hour and then take the dogs back out again. I make monkey man a snack and go take some Tylenol.
I sit down and type up everything that has happened so far today. Monkey man comes in and wants to read some more so we read 3 more books.
I go to switch the laundry again only to find it is still wet. I restart the dryer. Monkey man and I get into an argument because he thought it would be a great idea to steal my phone and take it to his room. I start to hand wash the lemonade jug only to realize that the soap is clogged. So I grab a toothpick an unclog it. Then wash the lemon aid jug so that I can make more in time for dinner. I then make another iced coffee and filter more water. I pour it in the water jug and put it in the fridge. I then try to get monkey man dressed so we can go to target.
We get to target and collect our items while I try to stop monkey man from grabbing things on the shelves or begging for a new toy or throwing a tantrum. A 15 minute trip quickly turns into 45min and we go to the checkout. I look for a lane that does not have any toys or candy. I find one with sodas and wait in line. We pay and quickly load up the car put the cart away and head home.
We get home and I try to get everything put away and make dinner. Monkey man builds a fort in the living room with toys and blankets.
I sit down and start watching one of my DVR shows and unwind a little bit and wouldn’t you know it my husband walks in the door, sees me on the couch and takes a look around. He concludes that the house is a mess (there are toys and blankets on the floor) and that the laundry must never have got done since there is a pile that hasn’t been put away so I must have just sat on the couch all day.
That is just 12 hours of my day. After this I still had to get monkey man bathed, changed, teeth brushed and put into bed, feed the dogs, clean up dinner and get myself showered and ready for bed.
What are your days like? Leave me a comment below!