November is national adoption month. Being adopted myself it never failed to amaze me the questions other kids and even adults would ask me growing up were enough to make my head spin. Here are 10 of those questions and my honest answers.
- So your mom didn’t want you?
Well, my mom actually did want me that is why she adopted me! Duh! But I am guessing you are talking about my birthmother. She was a 16 year old girl living in an abusive household. She had two choices to make. Either keep me and bring me into an abusive household or give away a piece of her heart.
- Are you sure you are adopted? You look just like your mother!
Actually I look nothing like her. My skin is pale and sickly and hers is olive. Her hair is black and mine is naturally blonde. She has brown eyes while I have green. Plus our genes are completely different and why would anyone lie and tell their kids they are adopted if they are not?
- What is wrong with you? Don’t all adopted kids have something developmentally or mentally wrong with them?
Actually no, we are just like the rest of you. Very few of the adopted kids I know have anything “wrong” with them.
- So your parents can’t have kids?
Does this really matter? Maybe they just wanted to give a home to a child who needed one? Maybe it is time to stop being so nosey?
- How can a mother just give her baby away? That’s horrible!
Umm, actually it is quite selfless. She made a choice to give me a better life even though she would suffer with that choice for the rest of hers.
- How does it feel to not be wanted?
What do you mean not be wanted? I was chosen by my parents. Yours are just stuck with you!
- Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you hadn’t been adopted?
Actually yes, this often crossed my mind. But to me it is just the same as if you were to imagine your parents were someone else. Did you ever wonder what life would have been like if you parents were royalty? Well for me it wasn’t ruled out because I didn’t know who they were. They could have been anyone in the world!
- How can some love a child that isn’t theirs?
I don’t know how can you love anyone? Quite sure they just have a heart, maybe you have heard of one?
- What happens if your mom comes and takes you back?
It doesn’t work that way. Legally she gave her rights to me away.
- Are you like an orphan then?
No, I am not an orphan. I have a family. I also have a birthmother. So yes, I am luckier than you, I have two moms and two dads. One of them grew me and one of them raised me. I have twice the family and I didn’t have to do anything to get it. God just gave it to me, guess that makes me special!
So there you have it! I am adopted and I am proud to be. The questions kids and even adults ask can at times be hurtful but Honestly if answering them could give a home to one of the millions of kids that do not have a family around the world by changing someone’s thoughts on adoption, I would gladly answer them all. So what are your questions? No judgment just answers, honest answers! Ask me in the comments below or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org